This one is not going to happen. The list, irritatingly, is almost exactly the real one.
Fictional scenario · real preparedness list
Let us be clear: there will be no zombies. What there may be is a week without power, a road you cannot drive down, and a phone with four percent battery — which is why every fictional survival list quietly converges on water, light, boots and a plan.
So treat this as the enjoyable version of the 72-hour kit. Tick off what you own, note what you are missing, and take quiet satisfaction in being ready for something considerably more likely.
Day one
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The unglamorous items that decide everything after them.
Stored drinking water
Water is the first thing to run short and the hardest to improvise. Three litres per person per day covers drinking and basic cooking, and having it already in the house means you never join the queue for it.
Why you need it. Water is the first thing to run short and the hardest to improvise. Three litres per person per day covers drinking and basic cooking, and having it already in the house means you never join the queue for it.
What to look for. Sealed bottles or food-grade containers holding three days' worth per person, kept somewhere cool and dark. Write the date on them and swap the stock out twice a year.
Sturdy boots
Anything that damages a building leaves the floor covered in things you should not walk on in trainers. Boots by the bed is a habit, not a purchase.
Why you need it. Anything that damages a building leaves the floor covered in things you should not walk on in trainers. Boots by the bed is a habit, not a purchase.
What to look for. Closed, thick-soled boots you can put on in the dark, ideally with ankle support. Keep socks tucked inside them.
Headlamp
Hands-free light for a pre-dawn start, an unexpected late finish, or finding anything at all inside a tent.
Why you need it. Hands-free light for a pre-dawn start, an unexpected late finish, or finding anything at all inside a tent.
What to look for. A small lamp with a low mode for camp and a bright mode for walking, plus spare batteries or a charged battery pack.
First aid kit
Blisters, grazes and headaches are the everyday injuries, and all of them are far more manageable with a small kit in the bag.
Why you need it. Blisters, grazes and headaches are the everyday injuries, and all of them are far more manageable with a small kit in the bag.
What to look for. Blister plasters, adhesive dressings, antiseptic wipes, painkillers and a bandage. Restock it after every trip rather than before the next one.
Go bag
Almost every evacuation warning gives you minutes, not hours. A packed bag turns a panic into simply picking something up on the way out.
Why you need it. Almost every evacuation warning gives you minutes, not hours. A packed bag turns a panic into simply picking something up on the way out.
What to look for. A rucksack per person holding water, snacks, a torch, a charger, medication, spare clothes and copies of documents. Repack it when the seasons change.
Staying put
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Barricading is television. Water, food and quiet are real.
Shelf-stable food
Three days of food that needs no fridge and little or no cooking removes the pressure to shop during exactly the week everyone else is shopping.
Why you need it. Three days of food that needs no fridge and little or no cooking removes the pressure to shop during exactly the week everyone else is shopping.
What to look for. Tins, dried pasta, rice, nut butter and long-life milk you actually like eating, so the stock quietly rotates through normal meals instead of expiring in a cupboard.
Manual can opener
A cupboard of tins and no way into them is the most avoidable failure on this list, and electric openers are useless the moment the power goes.
Why you need it. A cupboard of tins and no way into them is the most avoidable failure on this list, and electric openers are useless the moment the power goes.
What to look for. A simple metal opener with a comfortable handle. Keep it in the same place as the emergency food, not in the general kitchen drawer where it wanders off.
Off-grid cooker
Hot food and hot drinks change morale faster than anything else you can carry, and they stop being possible the moment the hob has no gas or power.
Why you need it. Hot food and hot drinks change morale faster than anything else you can carry, and they stop being possible the moment the hob has no gas or power.
What to look for. A single-burner gas or spirit stove with two spare canisters, used outdoors or in real ventilation. Test it once before you need it rather than reading the instructions by torchlight.
Battery or wind-up radio
When the mobile network is congested or down, local radio is still telling you which roads are closed and where to go. It is the one information source that does not depend on your phone.
Why you need it. When the mobile network is congested or down, local radio is still telling you which roads are closed and where to go. It is the one information source that does not depend on your phone.
What to look for. A wind-up or battery radio with FM and, ideally, weather or emergency bands. A model that also charges a phone earns its shelf space.
Duct tape
Broken windows, split bags, cracked pipes and taped-up boxes. It is the least glamorous and most reused thing in any kit.
Why you need it. Broken windows, split bags, cracked pipes and taped-up boxes. It is the least glamorous and most reused thing in any kit.
What to look for. One good-quality wide roll — cheap tape peels off exactly when the repair matters.
Pry bar
Doors warp, frames shift and debris lands where you need to walk. A short bar gives you the leverage a pair of hands does not have.
Why you need it. Doors warp, frames shift and debris lands where you need to walk. A short bar gives you the leverage a pair of hands does not have.
What to look for. A 40–60 cm flat pry bar in steel, stored with your gloves. Long enough for leverage, short enough to carry.
Moving on
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If the plan becomes leaving, leave well.
Paper map
Navigation apps assume signal, battery and working servers. A folded local map assumes nothing and never reboots.
Why you need it. Navigation apps assume signal, battery and working servers. A folded local map assumes nothing and never reboots.
What to look for. A current road or topographic map covering your area and your likely route out, with your meeting points marked in pen.
Bicycle
When roads are jammed and fuel is queued for, the person on a bike is simply somewhere else. It also needs no charge and no licence.
Why you need it. When roads are jammed and fuel is queued for, the person on a bike is simply somewhere else. It also needs no charge and no licence.
What to look for. Any roadworthy bike with working brakes, a pump, a patch kit and lights. Reliability beats performance entirely here.
Whistle
Shouting for help lasts a few minutes; a whistle carries much further and lasts as long as you do.
Why you need it. Shouting for help lasts a few minutes; a whistle carries much further and lasts as long as you do.
What to look for. A pealess plastic whistle on a lanyard, attached to a bag or kept with your keys so it is on you rather than in a cupboard.
Signal mirror
A mirror flash is visible for miles in daylight, works with no battery, and weighs less than the phone you were hoping to be rescued by.
Why you need it. A mirror flash is visible for miles in daylight, works with no battery, and weighs less than the phone you were hoping to be rescued by.
What to look for. A small unbreakable signalling mirror with a sighting hole, kept in your go bag alongside the whistle.
Written household plan
The part people skip and later wish they had not: who collects whom, where you meet if you cannot get home, and which out-of-area contact everyone calls.
Why you need it. The part people skip and later wish they had not: who collects whom, where you meet if you cannot get home, and which out-of-area contact everyone calls.
What to look for. One page, printed, in every bag and on the fridge. Agree it out loud with everyone, including the children, and revisit it once a year.
One good manual
Every plan eventually meets a problem you did not plan for. A single practical reference — first aid, repairs, food safety — is the item that keeps working when the internet does not.
Why you need it. Every plan eventually meets a problem you did not plan for. A single practical reference — first aid, repairs, food safety — is the item that keeps working when the internet does not.
What to look for. A printed first aid or general preparedness handbook, kept with the kit and read once while it is still a calm afternoon.
